Sry I called you an 8
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
