Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
