Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
