I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
