he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
