One girl and one boy is just not enough.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
