ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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