I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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