why didn't you poke me back
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
