PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
