piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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