i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
