We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize