I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
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