There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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