You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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