i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
