The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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