When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize