Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
operation have a gay friend backfired
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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