You work out of a Hotel?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize