we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Houston, we have a squirter
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
My life is pants optional.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
