Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
