how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
