I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
