yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
