I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
