The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Randomize
