It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
