hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
