For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
