blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
