No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize