You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
