I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
