I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
