My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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