oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
