she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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