Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
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