i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
