I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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