I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Sorry about my life...
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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