Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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