Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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