in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
