I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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