Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
bring money and cleavage
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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