Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
