I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
