you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
