her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
