you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
foreskin is a definite game changer
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
