i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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