is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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