No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
