My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Yo dont text me then not text me
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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