i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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