i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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