Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
