I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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